It's Not You, It's...No, Wait, It's You

I had a conversation last summer with the parents of the kids I used to nanny for that has stuck with me. It went something like this:

Husband: “My brother has been speed dating. He really likes it”. (His brother is in his early 30s)

Me: “Wow. I hope my life never comes to that.”

This is where I realize maybe I shouldn’t have been so honest, but the conversation continues.

Wife: “I think it is great too. You’ll see that when you are out of college it is not as easy to meet people your age that you will want to date. Your social network becomes mostly limited to your current friends the people you work with. In college you meet new people every semester, but not in the real world.”

Me: “Kill me now.”

What they said makes perfect sense, and the whole idea of not having to sit through an entire meal with a person before you realize you don’t like them has its advantages. But in my judgmental mind, it seems so desperate. I think I would be more interested in joining the nunnery (I say as a 22-year-old who is currently dating a very nice young man).

At least this isn’t my reality…yet.

posted by superbrew

We had just woken up and, as is her custom, Sarah had gone straight to the pantry to forage for something delicious to eat for breakfast. Her breakfasts always contain chocolate, and they usually involve cookies, ice-cream, or both. It was around ten a.m., and I was still groggy, unshaven, and pajama-clad. I stumbled over to sit next to her at the kitchen table, and we sat there for a moment in silence; Sarah intensely focused on her dessert/breakfast, and me fantasizing about how great that first cup of coffee would be once I’d gathered the energy to go through the frustrating process of brewing it. Sarah broke the silence by saying, “So, what’s the plan?”, and I naturally reponded by saying, “I assume you’re refering to our zombie contingency plan?”. I firmly believe that every sensible person should have a thorough plan for the inevitable zombie attack, and Sarah has always agreed with this assertion. “Of course that’s what I’m talking about,” she answered. I laughed, and sighed, and fantasized again about the delicious coffee that I would soon enjoy. Then I had a thought of considerable gravity, so I turned to Sarah with my brow furrowed in concern and I told her, “I know its stupid, and it goes against everything I’ve ever said about surviving the global zombie crisis, but if you became a zombie I wouldn’t be able to shoot you. I would have to just lock you up in an attic or something.” At this, Sarah shifted her focus away from her breakfast entirely, and she sternly demanded, “Ted, if I become a zombie, you shoot me damn it. I would definitely shoot you. Don’t be an idiot!” She then went back to her sugary meal, and after a moment of realizing she was absolutely right, I said, “Well, I’ll try to shoot you in the side of the head. You know, so I don’t damage your face.” She looked at me and smiled, I smiled back at her, and in that moment I felt deeply in love. It’s good to have a wife who is so wise. She keeps me in line.

This guest post by my sister may remind you of a post or two that I have done…looks like it runs in the family.

Posted by superbubbly

One of the best, yet most frustrating decisions that I have made was to go to an all womens college. In high school I tended to bounce around dating anything that would look at me twice and then promptly dumping them for someone else. So you can see with sort of attitude towards dating how this seemed like a horrible idea. However, I was tired of having the drama of relationships interfere with class, and I most definitely didn’t want to have to live around the people I was dating, I wanted to be able to escape.

I am not dating anyone now. I finally got these things called “standards”. Long distance didn’t work out and being in the middle of nowhere Virginia makes it difficult to find a guy who isn’t either obsessed with fishin “in the holler”, or who goes to the all men’s college that’s full of tools and posers. The other girls don’t seem to have any problems, they either settle or, in many cases, they’re just lesbians.

It doesn’t really bother me, I’m not homophobic so long as you aren’t dancing up on me or trying to lure me upstairs at a party (I didn’t know that actually happened, and they KNOW I am straight!) and just let me exist in my awkward heterosexualness in the corner of your little fiesta. The apartment with the best parties and full with a lot of my friends, also happens to be inhabited by people who are all either gay or bisexual, so you can imagine the people that generally get an invitation tend to be the lesbians, or like me the rare and exotic straight friend. Twice now at the smaller gatherings I have looked around the room and realized I was one of two in a group of ten or twelve that was not having girlfriend issues. I felt like I couldn’t contribute to the conversation, and as I had recently broken up with my boyfriend was feeling like a relationship saboteur/idiot. This also was probably the reason I wasn’t finding many new prospects for dates in the future. Go figure.

At one such party I wore my brand new SMOKIN leather jacket (if I do say so myself, but I’m biased) and dressed up. SIX, count them, SIX girls hit on me, all but one knowing that at that time I had a boyfriend. So I guess if all else fails, I have options?
A friend of mine has a similar issue. She’s athletic and after a bad break up hasn’t felt the need to jump back into the dating pool just yet. People who don’t know her history of dating all assume she is conflicted with her orientation and she gets hit on all the time by other girls on her various sports teams. Not that she realizes it. She has the worst gaydar in the universe. A flaming gay man could walk up in front of her wearing a feather boa, dancing while watching Mama Mia and she would probably have the time of her life and spend the next day trying to think of a girlfriend for him. She once helped mediated the break up of two girls on her field hockey team thinking they were best friends having a falling out. One night, shwasted after a team party, the two girls took her back to their room to take care of her. Their beds were pushed together as always, she slept on one side and they cuddled on the other. Again, she just thought they were really close. SO much closer than she imagined!

So I guess the whole point of this really is I thought that I would escape the drama of having a boyfriend but not have them completely take over my life. I’m still single. I also thought I would escape the awkward “f*** you” “no, f*** you!” lovers quarrels I hear in the hallways at 3am. On both accounts: Failtacular.

Surprise, cheesy. Your boyfriend and I are always working in secret behind your back…

posted by supertall

Dating long distance sucks, and we all know this. There’s all sorts of obvious reasons, but when I travel alone I think about all the little things that you miss out on by being apart. Every day we see so many things and think so many thoughts that it is impossible to give someone a real answer to “What did you do today?”. Most of these things aren’t worth telling anyone about, because, honestly, who cares? But the thing you lose with long distance is the chance to experience these daily things with the person you love. None of it really matters, but it adds up slowly, day by day.

So here’s a short list of all the things that I did in Vegas that made me think of supercheesy, leaving out all the stuff that was actually cool:

*Finding a power outlet at the airport.

*Noticing that the Jersey Boys Theater light bulbs don’t always blink in sets of three like you’d think.

*Getting annoyed when people sitting next to me hold their wine glasses by the bowl.

*Remembering that I would never have noticed that before falling in love with her.

*Wondering how germ-infested casino chips are.

*Wishing I could un-think that thought.

*Wondering where my dove?

*Oh god these poker chips are so gross.

*Leaving a big tip while alone in the forest.

*Watching Clint Eastwood kick ass.

*Talking to a taxi cab driver about his friend’s gambling problem.

*Finding out that Sashi is really lame.

*Getting annoyed by countless strangers telling me to play the Holdem Bonus Bet.

*Knowing it’s a sucker bet by 8.5406% and being able to prove it when sober.

*Seeing a Google WiFi beanbag in the airport.

*Wondering why on earth you can take a lighter on an airplane.

*Throwing up in my mouth when I see couples.

And so much more that I don’t remember despite my best efforts. I love you and I miss you, supercheesy! <3

I met my boyfriend at a funeral.  Our mothers had been trying to set us up for years but it never worked out.  While we grew up in the same town, we went to different high schools and had completely different social circles (i.e. I didn’t play Dungeons and Dragons). We also went to different colleges and therefore refused to be set up when we were home on breaks.

Then it happened.  We both couldn’t get out of going to the funeral of a mutual family friend.  It was an extremely sad situation but our mothers still saw this as the perfect opportunity for us to finally meet.  At the reception following the funeral, I was ambushed.  I saw his mom dragging him over to the table I was sitting at with my parents.  We introduced ourselves and awkwardly talked with our mothers for a few minutes before they abruptly turned and left us to talk on our own.

First, we acknowledged the awkward situation that was occurring.  We looked across the room and our mothers were gathered with their gossipy clan, staring at us and whispering.  Can you say “awkward!?”

Once that was out of the way, we actually started talking.  I don’t really remember what we talked about, but I remember not hating him.  I wanted to hate him because my mother thought I would like him.  Before I knew it the reception was over and we were walking towards our families (who had avoided us for the rest of the afternoon).  I gave him my phone number.  At a funeral.  In front of my parents.  Yes.  And that’s how we met.

Aww, this is actually really cute. And accurate. I’ll talk your ear off until the cows come home unless it’s about my feelings or something.

rainesanity:

Studies show that men don’t rely on words to convey emotion. Instead, a guy’s brain is task-oriented. He’s more likely to demonstrate his feeling via action. So if you want to decipher the depth of your man’s devotion, pay attention to WHAT he DOES, not what he doesn’t SAY. Here are seven sign’s that he is into you.

1. He lends you his most precious possessions.

- when your guy lends you his stuff,it just shows he trusts and cares for you that is why even if he knows that you may lose the item, he’s willing to make that sacrifice. So if he freely offers you something that you know matters a great deal to him like his fave “Godfather” book, in a way, he’s also offering himself. sweet, ain’t it?

2. He wants to protect you when you’re apart.

- Men express their devotion by keeping you safe. He calls and check if you’re alright. he loads up your cellphone so that you can call him anytime you need him,or whatever reason. he gives a bottle of pepper spray. he picks you up and take you to work almost every single day. It all goes back to Neanderthal times, when a man’s main role was to protect the cave babe he adored. Though you no longer need him to ward off wild animals and marauding tribes, his instinct to guard his girl remains.

3. He’s always ready for a photo op with you.

- let’s admit it guys have a twisted relationship with the camera. on one hand he gets a kick of hamming it up with his posse. sometimes a man wants to see himself as single or available even if he’s involved. he doesnt want anyone who views the picture to think he’s coupled up. So when someone at the party whips out a camera and your dude happily wraps his arms around your shoulder and smiles, it’s a sign that he’s so taken with you and wants the world to know you’re his girl.

4. He wears the clothes you compliment.

- Guys tend to play down compliments, especially those that concern their appearance, but if the woman he’s crazy about signals her approval of his outfit, he’s excited and grateful. he shows his appreciation by wearing it again and again. =D

5. He sits beside you when you eat out.

- He wants to be close to you, and subconsciously tell the other guys you two are a tight romantic team. sweet. =D

6. He shares his chow with you.

-to men eating is pleasure. when a man is inlove, he wants his girl to experience all the pleasurable things he’s experiencing and that includes his food. it also shows he is comfortable in your personal space.

7. He brushes the hair out of your eyes.

- extending his hand so that he gently strokes your head is a very intimate gesture. he’s saying he feels so close to you that he cant resist touching you. Only a seriously love-struck guy would do this.

So, girls be happy if he does. (I know I am,heehee.) =D

While I love the new “Petition to Make Bromance A Relationship Status,” in general facebook relationships scare me. Senior year of high school, a friend confessed that he liked me, then did nothing. We continued to go on the same, hanging out as friends. I didn’t know what to think, except that maybe he’d stopped liking me. Then, three weeks later, I get a relationship request from him to be my “boyfriend” on facebook. WHAT?! I call him immediately, demanding to know how I managed to miss us entering into a relationship, and he sounded confused, saying “What? We were basically dating anyway” and that clearly it was reasonable of him to post that.

Facebook relationship statuses are a gateway to communication-lacking, romance-ending, generally dysfunctional relationships. My roommate, currently desiring an “On Hold For _____” relationship status, reflected back on her facebook relationships and realized that during high school her first two boyfriends, the unimportant, disposable ones, were entered as relationships on facebook, while her last two serious, omg-what-if-I’ve-met-my-soulmate-at-16 relationships, neglected to become facebook official. She concludes that it is all about other people’s perception. “If you’re in a real relationship, there’s no need for it to be on facebook” she states.

The endings are always, always, awkward. Take it from me. The actual break-up with the aforementioned facebook-asker-outer was far easier than canceling the relationship on facebook. And, “It’s Complicated with _____” and “In an Open Relationship with _____”? They are only child-sized steps up from “Occasionally drunkenly stumbling into bed with _____” or “Currently testing my boundaries with ______.” For one, it’s pretty much always complicated with someone. And second, I don’t think I’ve ever seen “In an Open Relationship with _____” used seriously, because most of the time that other person doesn’t know it is open.

Basically, all I’m saying is don’t bombard my news feed with your relationship statuses. Save room for real, hard-hitting news, like what photos you’ve just uploaded.

Cute, loving, and literary. It is a diabolical combination

“For Christmas, I bought a dictionary and went through it, highlighting all the definitions that describe him or remind me of him.” —Jaynee Germond, Roseburg,

Credit

Hopefully they were good definitions.

I don’t like the reasoning (or lack thereof) behind this article:

“A small number of men have an addiction to cheating — regardless of what their relationship is like,” says Don-David Lusterman, PhD, author of Infidelity: A Survival Guide. “But most men stray because something is lacking in their union, be it sex, attention, or even excitement.”

Credit

I know this is the biggest fad of our time, you know, to call everything a person does in excess an addiction. But really, sometimes people are just stupid and weak. Not everything is an addiction, sometimes a person has to be responsible for their actions.