It's Not You, It's...No, Wait, It's You

Last week I had a very interesting conversation with one of the little girls I nanny for. She is 10 years old and very interested in my life, especially the boys in my life. I don’t share much but she has managed to pick up bits and pieces, which has fueled her interest.

This most recent chat was about the reasons for dating, specifically why someone would date a person if they didn’t think they wanted to marry them (again, she is 10 years old). Without thinking too deeply about her question, I told her about how dating someone can teach you a lot about yourself and about others. I mentioned how it is useful to find out what you like and dislike in people and what could be a deal breaker in a future relationship. I ended the little lecture with, “Oh, and it is fun.”

The next day I told her mother about the conversation. Any time I have conversations with the kids that could lead to follow up conversations with their parents I try to give them a heads-up. So I told her mother about the question and my answer. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but it gave me the impression that she felt my answer wasn’t sincere, that I was making up an easy answer to her daughter’s question. Which has me thinking- do I really believe this? Is this why I date?

For now, my answer is “yes.” But I just may be giving more thought to this over the next couple of days and will post something if I find a better response.