It's Not You, It's...No, Wait, It's You

This guest post by my sister may remind you of a post or two that I have done…looks like it runs in the family.

Posted by superbubbly

One of the best, yet most frustrating decisions that I have made was to go to an all womens college. In high school I tended to bounce around dating anything that would look at me twice and then promptly dumping them for someone else. So you can see with sort of attitude towards dating how this seemed like a horrible idea. However, I was tired of having the drama of relationships interfere with class, and I most definitely didn’t want to have to live around the people I was dating, I wanted to be able to escape.

I am not dating anyone now. I finally got these things called “standards”. Long distance didn’t work out and being in the middle of nowhere Virginia makes it difficult to find a guy who isn’t either obsessed with fishin “in the holler”, or who goes to the all men’s college that’s full of tools and posers. The other girls don’t seem to have any problems, they either settle or, in many cases, they’re just lesbians.

It doesn’t really bother me, I’m not homophobic so long as you aren’t dancing up on me or trying to lure me upstairs at a party (I didn’t know that actually happened, and they KNOW I am straight!) and just let me exist in my awkward heterosexualness in the corner of your little fiesta. The apartment with the best parties and full with a lot of my friends, also happens to be inhabited by people who are all either gay or bisexual, so you can imagine the people that generally get an invitation tend to be the lesbians, or like me the rare and exotic straight friend. Twice now at the smaller gatherings I have looked around the room and realized I was one of two in a group of ten or twelve that was not having girlfriend issues. I felt like I couldn’t contribute to the conversation, and as I had recently broken up with my boyfriend was feeling like a relationship saboteur/idiot. This also was probably the reason I wasn’t finding many new prospects for dates in the future. Go figure.

At one such party I wore my brand new SMOKIN leather jacket (if I do say so myself, but I’m biased) and dressed up. SIX, count them, SIX girls hit on me, all but one knowing that at that time I had a boyfriend. So I guess if all else fails, I have options?
A friend of mine has a similar issue. She’s athletic and after a bad break up hasn’t felt the need to jump back into the dating pool just yet. People who don’t know her history of dating all assume she is conflicted with her orientation and she gets hit on all the time by other girls on her various sports teams. Not that she realizes it. She has the worst gaydar in the universe. A flaming gay man could walk up in front of her wearing a feather boa, dancing while watching Mama Mia and she would probably have the time of her life and spend the next day trying to think of a girlfriend for him. She once helped mediated the break up of two girls on her field hockey team thinking they were best friends having a falling out. One night, shwasted after a team party, the two girls took her back to their room to take care of her. Their beds were pushed together as always, she slept on one side and they cuddled on the other. Again, she just thought they were really close. SO much closer than she imagined!

So I guess the whole point of this really is I thought that I would escape the drama of having a boyfriend but not have them completely take over my life. I’m still single. I also thought I would escape the awkward “f*** you” “no, f*** you!” lovers quarrels I hear in the hallways at 3am. On both accounts: Failtacular.